We need to talk.  I suppose you already know that, but it is news to me.  I have been focused for these last several years on listening……not that I’ve done a very good job of that either!  As you know, I stopped talking in 2001 when Ed was dying of lung cancer.  I just didn’t think that anything I might say could have any affect whatsoever with you.  I mean, after all, there was all those people who died in 911 so why did I think that Ed should be spared or even that I should ask for anything in the face of all that disaster!  And then, shortly after 911, I visited St. Petersburg where Father Thomas Keating was speaking and presenting Contemplative prayer as the way to go when trying to connect with You.  I don’t think I really started doing it to connect with You, I think I did it to escape the pain of Ed dying and the confusion of my messy mind.  And, ever since then, I have operated on the assumption that I listen and You do whatever it is that You do.

I’ve started rethinking all kinds of things lately and it has occurred to me that if we have a relationship (as I have been told we are supposed to), then shouldn’t we both be talking and shouldn’t we both be listening?  (Of course, I agree that Your talking and my listening we be first priority.)

Starting today, I’ve decided to let my fingers do the talking.  So here goes:

The beach was beautiful this morning – Your beach – the one we call Siesta Key Beach.  I almost didn’t go because it was cloudy and definitely looked like rain.  But then, I remembered my new thought of doing whatever feels good and appeals to me.  I didn’t think that perhaps my positive affirmation would hold off the rain.  (ha)  The rain came and I was forced to run (not walk) for shelter.  Thanks for that – really!  I was able to think about the benefit of the brief run (every little bit helps) and remember how simple life can really be when I observed the man sweeping sand off the patio area on the shelter.  Reminded me of the early days of my recovery from alcoholism when I used to go hang out in meeting rooms every day.  My only job every day was to stay sober and NOT take a drink.  There was some real beauty to such simplicity that I have forgotten in recent years.  Now with 20 years of sobriety and “a life” so to speak, it’s easy to get caught up in things that are not really important after all.

My gratitude list – or my “rampage of appreciation” includes:  the rain, the holy music I listened to, the breeze, the solitude of having the beach almost exclusively to myself (amazing huh?) and watching the birds…especially the flock of pelicans.  Pelicans have always been one of my favorite birds after I learned via the Episcopal Church that the pelican would pierce her own breast to provide her own blood when no other food was available. As a result, the pelican became a symbol of the Passion of Jesus and of the Eucharist.   And Let the fullness of my Heart spill over into words!