I don’t feel like talking this morning.  I am discouraged and somewhat depressed.  But since I decided I will talk to You and that having a relationship with You involves reciprocal communication, I guess I have to talk to you even if I don’t feel like it.  I don’t want to talk to anybody today because I feel like a big fat failure.  And I do mean fat.  Last night I indulged in the Nachos and ice cream with chocolate sauce and all the while being very aware that this is not a good choice and that I am doing harm to myself.  Yet, like some kind of crazy sleepwalker, I just go ahead and do it – These last several weeks of focusing on my thinking and trying to change my weight by changing my mind seem useless.  What is wrong with me???????

The quote from Abraham-Hicks seemed right on track for me this morning as though You are sending me a message – delivered at 12:35am – before I was even awake this morning and aware of my own discouragement.  It is a hopeful quote and one I want to believe in so badly – God help me believe!!!  Help my unbelief to be transformed into belief:

“There is no state of physical decline or damage that you could not recover from –none – not any, if you knew it…If you wanted it and knew that you could.  And that’s those miracles that they talk about every day.  They’re not miracles at all, they are the natural order of things.  But because they are rare, people think they are miraculous.  They’re not.  That’s the way it is supposed to be.  You are supposed to thrive.”

I want to want this enough to manifest it and I don’t even know how to want my own good enough to change.  Please God help me.  Change my mind.  Transform my life – body, mind and soul – and I promise to use my transformation for Your Glory however you may desire me to do so…….even public speaking which you know I abhor!

Please, God, break the chains that bind me – break my negative, controlling thoughts and replace them with positive, flowing, loving, thankful thoughts.  Fill me with your light and your energy.  Teach me your ways.  Show me the path that is the path You desire me to walk.

I am already feeling a little more hopeful.  A tiny spark of hope….and since I have been sneezing, I realize I AM praying with my fingers.  Please God help me to believe and know – with or without doubt– that You do hear my prayers and that the answers are on the way – or even already present.  Inspire my faith and destroy my doubts.  I want to believe whether or not I see anything.  I want to trust You in all and believe that You will never leave me or desert me.  You are present with and within me at all times.  All that is ever missing is my trust and belief in You.  God, forgive my sins – known and unknown – and transform me with your Light and Love.