PrayingWithMyFingers

Dear God,
A strange morning.  A morning of strange sadness.  A morning of sweet nostalgia and separation.  Memory is a funny thing, God.  It gets in my head and mixes itself all up with the present reality until I am lost in a confusing array of feelings instead of being present in the here and now.
As I have previously confessed to You (Anti-goodbye Girl), it is hard for me to say goodbye.  As April and I walked to our cars to depart for our separate destinations this morning, the lump in …

Dear God,
I feel You close by this morning because – at this moment – April and puppies are out of the apartment.  She is taking them to the doggie beauty parlor to have their furs cut and shampooed.  I am reminded of how much I enjoy and treasure silence……make that Silence.  I love the big Silence of being still and quiet in order to experience Your Presence in a way that is impossible when there are distractions – even if it is the pleasant and wonderful distraction of being with …

Dear God,
Sometimes, God, it is so hard to turn my attention back to You.  There are so many distractions in the world and I lose my focus.  And, the world is so big and I feel so small in comparison.  When I feel my smallness, I wonder what difference it makes whether I pray.  I wonder why I think it matters whether or not I reach out to connect with You.  After all, God, clearly You have much bigger fish to fry.
Yesterday, April and I went shopping at the Sawgrass …

Dear God,
Thank you for this beautiful morning! It is a clear, sunny day in Ft. Lauderdale – about 80 degrees now but a likely 90 degrees by this afternoon.  But God, the beauty of the morning is not just in the fair skies and warm weather.  It is in the peace I feel this morning as I sit in my daughter’s apartment.
The city breathes quietly below her downtown balcony.  Lincoln and Reagan (hello again!) lay on the black-stained concrete floor enjoying its coolness on their tiny tummies.  April is preparing …

Dear God,
I feel blue this morning.  Perhaps I am blue along with lots of other people who might be thinking about death and dying.  Farrah and Michael have reminded us with their passing that death comes to all, either expected or with a surprise visit.  Death does not take a holiday. You know that thoughts of death have seldom been far from my mind.
You will recall my obsessive thoughts on death started when I was twenty.  Twenty, right?  That was when Michael – only four months after our marriage – …

Dear God,
It’s like old times this morning.  April in her bed.  Me up taking out the dogs.  I remember her first dog, Shelby.  Shelby was a beautiful Airedale and seventy pounds of wild!  A lot like Reagan – the fifteen pounds of wild.  April wanted that Airedale so badly and, like we all know, wanting something and being responsible for it are two different things.  So the old times found me taking Shelby out more than I should have.  Good memories though.  So, God, this morning I will start with …