stars2Dear God,

Sometimes, God, it is so hard to turn my attention back to You.  There are so many distractions in the world and I lose my focus.  And, the world is so big and I feel so small in comparison.  When I feel my smallness, I wonder what difference it makes whether I pray.  I wonder why I think it matters whether or not I reach out to connect with You.  After all, God, clearly You have much bigger fish to fry.

Yesterday, April and I went shopping at the Sawgrass Outlet Mall.  My first time.  It is billed as Florida’s largest outlet mall with everything from electronics, clothing, shoes, Ron Jon shops, art prints, endless specialty stores from Saks to Penny’s, multiplex movie theaters and, restaurants ranging from fast food to fine dining.

Here’s the problem, God.  I started out full of energy and excitement.  By 7pm when we returned, I was physically exhausted and my mind felt overwhelmed.  The reason for the physical exhaustion is obvious – six hours of walking the mall is more than enough to wear me out!  The mental exhaustion is more baffling.

As April drove us home, I tried to sort it all out.  My mind was troubled by the consumer culture of myself and all those around me.  Why do we need so much “stuff?”  From one store to another we went and the theme was more, more, more.  The choices in design, style, color, and size of every item are infinite.  I found myself looking at purses and wallets trying to decide which one I prefer.  What do I want?  Then I had to stop myself and think.  How many purses do I need?  How many wallets?  How many do I already have?  How many can I use at one time?  What drives this need, this desire for more stuff?!

The thought came, “God, why did You make us such pigs?”  But I had to go deeper because I know You did NOT make us (me) other than as in Your own image.  The “seven deadly sins — lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, anger, envy and pride – come from my fallen nature, the dark side.  The snake in the grass, if You will. Possessions, in and of themselves, are not the enemy.  The enemy is in my desire to possess, to own.  The error is in a belief that any person, place or thing can fill the void inside that can only be filled by You, God.  As St. Augustine once said, “Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in thee.”

Then a surprise thought that the amazing and infinite world of selection, design, color and size are a reflection of the You in all of us.  The You of endless and ever expanding creation is flowing through each of us and, we cannot help but express this energy in the world.  So, God, my pray this morning is that You help me enjoy Your endless creation expressed everywhere in the world without trying to own and possess it all.  After all, I cannot own or possess the stars but, I can enjoy the beauty.

“It is preoccupation with possessions, more than anything else, that prevents us from living freely and nobly.” - Henry David Thoreau
“Much of our activity these days is nothing more than a cheap anesthetic to deaden the pain of an empty life.” - Unknown

photo: million stars by xenonb @flickr.com