PrayingWithMyFingers

Dear God,

The morning skies are ominous — windy, dark, almost pre-hurricane conditions.  The tree branches and wind chimes are swaying outside my patio window as the rain begins to mix with the thunder and lightening.  Karen Carpenter’s song “Rainy Days and Mondays” pops into my head.  Again, I have to check my inner temperature to see where I am in relation to You and the rest of the world.  I discover that my tendency is to look for highs or lows and then I remember that there is something in between called serenity.  When I was new in recovery that was a place I had to learn to recognize and, I didn’t even particularly like it at first.

Karen Carpenter sang that rainy days and Mondays always “get me down.”  As I think about that I realize that rain and thunderstorms never really seem to get me down.  There is something about the power and intensity of thunderstorms that reminds me of Your Power and, I remember that I am not in control – that my life is in Your hands.  Now for a control freak like me that should be pretty scary but, it is actually very reassuring since I have been know to make quite a mess of things upon occasion.

I feel a deep reverence for the day this morning as I sit in the pelting rainstorm – comfy and cozy at my computer knowing that You, God have the whole world in Your hands.  Father Thomas Keating says, “The gift of Reverence keeps us true to ourselves and to God.  It tells the truth in love and will not back down for motives of self-defense or security.”  Reverence is, “a loyalty to one’s own personal integrity:  to do what one believes is right no matter what the stakes are…..”  I pray that my reverence may be at that level and that depth so that I may honor You.

Psalm 63 says, “I lift up my hands and call on Your name.  My soul is satisfied as with a rich feast, and my mouth praises You with joyful lips…….my soul clings to You.”  Thunderstorms cause me to cling more to You.  Perhaps there is a connection in that to the storms of my life.  When the sun is shining and life seems easy, that is when I tend to jump into the driver’s seat and take control of my life.  It is only when problems return and, I begin again to feel the discomfort of confusion, losing control and powerlessness that I return to You and ask that You restore my peace.  And, You, Amazing God always do.  No matter how far I wander or how many times I wander You remain – every present, ever waiting for my return.  You always give the rainbow after the storm.  I want to conclude my prayer this morning by honoring You with a prayer by Ernest Holmes:

“Today I am honoring the Presence of God.  I feel God’s beauty in the rose-tinted dawn and in the glow of the evening sunset.  In the flower I find the loveliness of God’s beauty.  In the mountains I see God’s strength.  In the quiet of eveningtime I feel God’s Presence.  And throughout the night I know that this Presence blankets me; therefore, I sleep in peace and wake in joy and live in a consciousness of good.  Seeing God in others, I enter into companionship with the Divine in all people.  In the outstretched hand, in the smile of recognition, and in the warm embrace of friends, I feel the One Presence, the One Power, and the One Life.  And so I give thanks – with a song in my heart and with a joy unspeakable I give thanks to this Presence.  May I evermore embrace and be embraced by the love, the beauty and the goodness of God.”

photo by green velvet @ flickr.com