PrayingWithMyFingers

Dear God,

This morning I have begun the day with meditation and prayer.  No matter how much I would rather NOT have to sit still and be silent, I cannot forget what You have taught me so far about the need for and the blessings of Silence.  So, I return yet again with my reluctant ego and my monkey mind.  The Truth is that Silence is not a duty and a chore.  It is not just an item on the list of things to do even when it is number one on the list.  It is the main event.  I sit in Silence in order to be available to hear You.  You, God are always available to me but, the noise of the world drowns Your still, small voice – the One Voice, the only Voice with power for my life.

In preparing to sit, I read from Fr. Keating’s writings and he speaks to exactly where I am and have been this past week.  I have been in pain and anger because of having to face and accept my own powerlessness yet again.  I have been grieving and mourning because I have to surrender yet again my own plans and allow You to be the God of my life instead of all the things I put above You.  Fr. Keating says, “The reason we mourn is that something inside us realizes that our programs for happiness, put together in early childhood, are not going to work anymore.”

AA’s Big Books says that we must rid ourselves of selfishness and we – on our own – cannot get the job done.  “….we had to quit playing God.  It didn’t work.  Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director.  He is the Principal; we are His agents.  He is the Father, and we are His children.”  The result of that decision and action is, “Established on such a footing we became less and less interest in ourselves, our little plans and designs.  More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life.”

Live simple.  Trust God.  Amen.  Simple but not easy.