stuffGood afternoon!  How are You?  It has been a really long time between visits.  I hope it’s ok that I’ve kind of been taking You for granted lately.  Isn’t it what You want after all?  For us to have such faith in You that we stop trying so hard to get Your love and just accept it?  Unfortunately, that’s not really the reason I haven’t shown up.

As You know, my last letter, “Roadblocks,” was during Lent and I was whining about the difficulty of change.  Now, weeks later, I am in the midst of full-blown change.  Since returning from Tallahassee, I have been “spring cleaning” like a wild woman.  I am discarding “stuff” right and left.  This all began because I simply felt overwhelmed by the “stuff” in my life.  Just like the typical addict, if one is good, two is better and the more the merrier……….be it drinks, drugs, food, flowers, clothes, candles, pens, paperclips or puppies.  I think George Carlin got it exactly right in his piece on “Stuff.”  http://www.writers-free-reference.com/funny/story085.htm Managing stuff is a full time job so it seems to be the only way to get free is to get rid of the stuff that overwhelms my life.

And, as if my personal life being full of change weren’t enough, the office secretary is retiring and now we have to hire a new person.  The office is stacked up with boxes from Tallahassee and it needs a complete reorg session long before November gets here.  Why is my life suddenly changing?  Despite my best efforts to change, when I am trying, it doesn’t work.  Now, without trying, things are happening.  Yet, I remain overwhelmed, overloaded and generally out of my mind.

Perhaps the biggest change afoot is the idea that I am not broken and I do not need to be fixed.  Yes, I want and need to evolve as a human being but coming from a place of brokenness for so many years has actually contributed to more brokenness, not less.  What if I were to accept that I am just fine as I am and, I can and will evolve and change when the time is the right time for me.  You, God, are in charge of my life and thus my Spirit.  Whatever may (or may not) need healing in me is under Your control so all I need do is to do my best as best I understand it and then trust that You will take and make all things perfect according to Your Will.